Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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