It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just want nice things and good sex
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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