I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize