Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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