there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
