If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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