i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
