vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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