I wish I only lived at night.
You smell like stripper and shame
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
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There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
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The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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