and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
