So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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