Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
