my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
he high fived his dick after we had sex
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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