i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
