friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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