"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
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Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
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I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Ladies don't puke and tell
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize