I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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