just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
