I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
