is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
