yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
They took my balls.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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