You're my little dorito
Umm I'm too high to move.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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