Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
