He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
