oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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