Fine. I'll sleep in my office
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
And then the night went full on bisexual.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
