im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
