He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
