i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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