WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
