): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.