id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
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Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
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Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone