She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night