He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
