My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize