Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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