You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
