I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
