don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
