if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
