I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize