I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
