Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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