Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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