look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize