Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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