He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
