i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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