It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
