remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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