Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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