dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The air was thick with penises
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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