Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
