my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
