I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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