you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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