Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
