pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
