things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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