just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
