too bad you live with your parents still
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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