I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
