So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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