I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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