she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
