What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
